Teenie Tummy Academy! =8^D

What Really Makes A Chik Even MORE Awesome??? =)

The WAIST is where it's @!

    Don't WASTE your WAIST with "WASTEAGE" =:-o U have the power 2 streamline your bod 4 extra awesomeness. With my help, U can gain a few points on the '10' meter & have your pick of more hawt guys 4 shaggin' or big aliminoy divorcin' or modelin' or whatever floats your boat =D Glory 2 freedom in the free world; U have tha RITE not 2 waste yer' waist, so U may taste the grace, & elevate ya'self 2 a higher place! Say it with me... AAAH men. ~;-)

    As U will notice, the chik on the left is smokin' hawt, but the 1 on the right is even MORE hot. U may deny, but that would B a lie, 'kuz I'm a guy, & 4 what is hotness if not 2 call upon us 4 your measuring stik? So wat iz kee? U will C, just follow me: @ least @ 1'st, ELIMINATE Meat, fat, & oil from your diet, & do lots of walking or other forms of high-cal long stretch exertions 2 burn it down, & also doing 'waistey' things like hula dancey moves & sit ups & 'back-ups' & so fourth helps loads 2 get defniition (like those sexxxy vertical lines along the tummy). Going 'athlete' is certainly not required but always a plus! It's never harder than when U START. Once U get used 2 it, as with all things, it's no biggie @ all. What can I do 4 U? I can help customize your routine & give U personalized tips 2 hone your vibe 4 increased performance =D I'm pushing 50 but look a lot younger, so age is no excuse! I got a 'teenie tummy' myself so know what I'm talkin' about...

More details about MEEE if U click HERE

    2 show U how truly an average 'cute' girl can progress from 'attractive' to 'EPIC BABEAGE', I give U Her (sometimes) shockingly sleek majesty: 'Exhibit A'... Notice how in the upper left she is 'standard issue chlorine clown' (or what I like to call them. =)) More on that later (as hair is more a fashion thing). Importantly here, C how her tummy is lumpy & overal loox about 10Lbs overweight or so. As U progress through different stages from left to right you notice she gets progressively hotter, & it's mainly due to slimming & defining the waist. The 'love handles' (upper side bulges) have disappeared & there is a smoother, more curvy transition into the upper body. "Curvy" is a terribly misused word by land whales pretending misuse of English is a substitute for lifestyle discipline. LOL! "Curvy" is the girl so sleek men of all varieties R drawn 2 dream of undressing her 2 bask in the warm glow of her naughty bits, such as thus...

Fleeting it can B as boozie travels bottom right toward hagsville...

    Witness tha' fitness. A tiny wasit alone is not a Holy Grail, but more a moral framework 2 enhance the movable art that is a smokin' bod. It's all about the law of RATIO: the eternal, unchangable rule of SLEEK. Imagine slapping a GR8 pair of getaway stix (legz) on a fat blob & U get the idea. It's like a lard bag in a pair of 'short shorts' = a middle finger 2 the world: terrorists against beauty. Do your part to elevate yourself & humanity to build a better world. Fight tha good fite & kik azz with A$$! A waist is a terrible thing 2 waste =) Love your a$$. Make it your RELIGION! & your desciples shall sing your praises as your legend grows...

Hallelujah !

    I come for A$$ 2 sing it's praises, the true religion of all men, our minds damned 2 eternal bliss always dreaming, scheming 4 AAASS! Never underestimate the importance of ASS =D While we are chatting about whatever, we are also dreaming about ASS! Guys put the 'ASS' in Multi-tASSking =)) Don't try 2 fight it. That's just how we're wired ~;-) A tiny waist gives your ass 'legs'. Everything you do really doesn't matter if your waist is chubby. The righteous wench is humble B 4 the lord, & that lord is ASSS! In praise of Lord ASSS a wench must beg 4 mercy, 4 temptation 2 waver from the path of sleekness is strong & a witch must wield her azz 4 evil & not good... oh baby ~;-D

~ In A$$ We Trust ~

    In pursuit of righteousness in keeping with our moral obligation to grasp the importance of ass, let us recite The Commandments Of SLEEK! In other words: what men want in a woman, ranked in order by importance, even if many men do not consciously realize it...

1) A teenie tummy ( = a slim, sleek waist)

2) Long, strong, thick legs

3) Big, fit, round A$$ (not saggy or odd shapes)

4) Perky breasts, big or small but not too small, & implants R just gross.

5) Long, flowing hair that shines ( = not dry, dull, frizzy, or tied up). Natural color is always best, & bleach says U R a whore trolling 4 ppl 2 rob.

6) A hot bod is always more important than a pretty face, because even an average face becomes pretty through fitness. Playing with makeup, nails, and other meaningless tangents are a waste of time, money, & the superior health AND beauty benefits you will get by focusing on your BODY. As your body becomes more sleek, so does your face. Even an ugly girl can typically raise to 'hotness' and even very attractive if their bod is strong, smooth, & athletic & they dress the part with mini skirts & heels and other WOMEN'S clothing instead of the typical 'tomboy lesbian' routine common in many 'Western' nations.

7) Personality issues varry, but some general rules apply, for example that you actually adore men & sex, etc. My personal preferences are not necessarily those of the men you may be seeking. Everybody has their taste! =D Click HERE if you want to know mine.

    If you find my fitness advices useful feel free to contact me at "balkanguy (at) live (dot) com" (spam filter) and if you want me to help you with your routine to get in killer shape, U decide what U think is a fair exchange given your situation and what U want 2 offer me. Be prepared to send bikini photos of yourself & so on for my honest review of precisely wat U should do. I give awesome fashion advices as I'm a straight male with an artistic side so I know exactly what we like to see and how to explain it. For some examples of my arty stuff, click HERE. In fashion IMHO Rule #1 is it's all about access. We want 2 C your skirt is no obstacle 2 banging, whether or not we will B goin' @ it or not. Short skirts & heels are a GR8 starting point. The particular style advices will vary with both your body & personality & what else you have going. Sometimes I see really absurd moves, like girls wearing leggnigs or pants under a dress or skirt. =)) It's like comedy to me =D Burn your JEANS, not your GENES. ~;-)

    Nature recycles & living through your bod is like riding a wave in a cosmic 'meat vehicle'. We're all about 70% water & the 'new you' can be a very different creature since lifestyle changes are reflected in flesh replaced around every 7 years & bone & nerves around 9. The processes of 'aptosis' & interaction with hormones & telomeres & such R kewl topix if U R up 2 Googlin' it. Advices vary with the person & if you fail I'll try 2 help U bak on trak. Your risk is as low as U like & you can end up looking way hotter within a few months or less, but the most complete improvements ~ the 'New U' ~ can take many YEARS 2 achieve. As you progress on your journey always remember BEAUTY is what men respect and Prude is the OPPOSITE of Beautiful: "Prude = suicide. Sex = life." Repeat this mantra in your head as U go about your bizzy biz. It's the birds & the bees. Aspire 2 B (or @ least look like) a hawt 'Lurve Machine'. Beautiful galz do not need to bark commands at ambivalent guys. They do nice things WILLINGLY without even having to ask just to separate themselves from tha pak. Bears like honey. B hawt, DRESS hawt, & Have fun!

Click Or Treat ~ Choose your doors & explore!

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Is there no end to the awesomeness?

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